Friday, May 20, 2016

Processing

I put the post about Mooch back up, cause at this point I don't think tip-toeing around Ethan's feelings is high on my list of priorities, and it's part of my story too so I think I get to talk about.  I mean when you break up with a blogger, you have to expect she's going to tell the whole internet about it.  Right?

I'm processing.  There was a lot of wine involved.  So now I'm also rehydrating while I'm processing.

I have read and re-read all your comments on yesterday's post.  The support is awesome, and you guys all made a lot of great points and made me feel way less crazy.  Internet strangers FTW!

I have a place to stay and some promising leads on apartments, so logistically, I'm figuring things out too.  Which we all knew I would, because I am not the type of person who goes all fetal position when things go awry.  I just figure it out.

I don't have too much to say yet about the rest of it.  Still trying to get my head around everything and getting used to the idea of moving on.  Trying not to be overly bitter about how hard I tried and how much effort I wasted and what a giant mistake it was to move back in with him.  Trying to let go and accept the fact that he's never going to get it.

I want to go back in time to the Me who wrote this post and tell her to go get an apartment and not waste seven months of her life on someone who actually does not care at all about her and is going to unceremoniously kick her to the curb.

At one point last week while I was accepting all of the blame for all of the problems and letting Ethan tell me I just need to be less upset about the shitty things he does (don't worry -- I'm not there anymore), Ethan told me that I need to study the works of the Dalai Lama.  Yes people, he actually said that.  Not that there's anything wrong with the Dalai Lama, there's just something wrong with someone doing shitty things to you and then telling you that you need to practice mindfulness instead of getting upset.

So anyway, I looked him up.  And here's the first thing I found.



11 comments:

  1. Well said Dalai Lama. I think that a lot these days.

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  2. "I am not the type of person who goes all fetal position when things go awry" - no you are not Marissa, and that is one thing I have always been in awe in about you. Things don't go my way and panic ensues, you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and make things better than the way they were before the poop hit the fan every time. One day I hope I can be more like you in that way :) - Boomerang, aka your former roomie

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  3. That quote really resonates with my life being flipped upside down last year. I definitely am the fetal position type so I admire your strength!

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  4. He told you to study the Dalai Lama because why? He's such an enlightened guy? That guy would have screwed up your head bad.

    I don't think you wasted 7 months, you just learned a painful, expensive lesson.

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  5. You should look up Narcisstic Personality Disorder. You might find it quite enlightening, even more so than the Dalai Lama. ;) You really dodged a bullet there, I think.

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  6. Don't regret the past 7 months. Think of what you learned during that time. I'm sure that between communicating with Ethan and working with a Therapist you learned things that will be useful in your next relationship.

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  7. You are going to be great. Its sad when things end and you have to press reset, what's sadder is staying in something where you can't be you. While I don't condone what he said or how he treated you...I also know two people can both be good people, but not right for each other. You learned a lot, loved a lot and get to embark on a new adventure now. I'm so glad you have such a steady support system (& Tucker!!!) rallying with you!

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  8. What a perfect quote. It's hard not to regret things, but I'm sure there were some things positive you can take from the experience. At least Tucker is there for you! (and wine, wine is always good).

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  9. HA i love it!! "a wonderful stroke of luck" - sounds like a winning mantra to me. hang in there, we're all rooting for you!

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  10. Damn, the Dalai Lama was a smart man.

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