Hey there Tucker fans. Sorry I've been MIA at the end of this year. I took a little break for the holidays, and then a subsequent death in the family took me away for a while longer. My Uncle Joe died (Well, "Uncle" in the loose, Italian family sense of that word. He was related somehow by marriage to my Grandmother). Uncle Joe was the only relative I know of who actually owned a horse at one point. I believe her name was Bonnie, and I remember when I was little that there was a photo of her hanging in their front hall. He loved to hear about my horses, and loved to tell me stories about Bonnie. My Uncle Joe was a good man -- always gave people a hard time, never missed an opportunity to tease -- but in the end, he had a good heart. When I was a child, he would tell me I was a pain in the neck, and the next breath be muttering to himself in Italian about how beautiful I was. I adored him.
He and my grandparents were very close, part of a big group of friends who got together every Friday night for a martini party, where the ironing board became a bar, and they "raffled off" the living room tv set for laughs. They threw parties for snowstorms, parties when someone got a new car, parties when someone came to visit from out of town, parties for the day after a party called "used booze" parties. Sounds like the kind of folks you'd want to hang out with, right? I hope at the end of my life that I have good times like these to look back on.
Speaking of looking back, I've been reading lots of blog posts that are retrospectives on 2010. It's funny, if I were to look back on the blog this year, it would appear as though I've had the best year of my life. Tucker and I moved up to the 3' Hunters, we did our first Hunter Derby, we started schooling some 3'6" gymnastics at home, I got over my confidence issues and learned to enjoy horse shows again. He suffered some minor injuries but is overall happy, healthy, and wonderful. Reading that, it sounds like an amazing year.
Which is all another testament to how amazing Tucker is, and what he's meant to me. I am so, so thankful for this horse. You see, pretty much all the other "life" stuff that I don't write about here (for fear of, as I've mentioned before, infecting the blog) hasn't been as good. When I look back at 2010 overall, I'd say it was the toughest year of my life. If I gave you the laundry list of things that went horribly, irrevocably wrong, you'd think I had turned this blog into a work of fiction. To tell the truth, I can't even believe I made it through everything. But each time I was hit with something else, I'd sort of figure out another way to move forward, over it, under it, or around it, and somehow get to the other side and look back amazed at my own resilience. So, I guess I have that to be thankful for as well.
I don't usually put much stock into the whole "New Year's Resolution" tradition. New Year's Day is actually tied to a very sad little fact about my life, so I don't even usually celebrate it. But this year I think maybe it's time to embrace the whole idea of rebirth, regeneration, regrouping. It's time to let all that awful stuff that happened to me just stay in 2010. Time to do everything I can to approach 2011 with a positive attitude, an open mind, and an open heart. In 2011, I want to figure out a way to have the rest of my life match my horse life. I want to go to sleep at night feeling satisfied with everything, not just content with the couple of hours that I spent with my horse. It's not going to happen overnight... a lot of things need to change in order for me to feel that wholehearted satisfaction. In the meantime, I am lucky to have a wonderful horse to lean on, who is steadfast, relentless, even adamant in his need to make me happy, regardless of whatever else is going on.
So, to those of you who had a difficult 2010 as well... we all know that at the stroke of midnight all the problems we faced last year will not magically disappear. There will be issues that will linger into the new year, and we will deal with them like we've done before. But perhaps this new year is a good time to make a clean break from what we've been though, so it doesn't drag us down for another year. And if it starts getting tough, I recommend finding a big, sweet, beautiful horse (cat, dog, bunny, stuffed animal, what-have-you), and wrapping your arms around his neck. Always works for me.