Friday, October 8, 2010

Off Topic: "In the Wake of Senseless Tragedy"

An off topic piece for this blog, but I just came across this post by Vicky Bell, and I thought it was so poignant that it needed to be shared.  Please give it a read, it actually makes a little bit of sense out of the horrible tragedy that occurred recently at Rutgers, or at least Ms. Bell seems to have figured out a way to deliver a positive message out of all this hurt. 

It's a similar theme to the "It Gets Better" campaign, which from what I've seen is a really, really good thing.  I hope it works, I hope it helps some young people who are feeling desparate and out of options, for whatever reason -- whether it's bullying, or an identity crisis, or problems at home, or some other problem that feels too big to handle.

Kids are always going to pick on each other, that won't change (like three horses in turnout, there will be a pecking order, there will be pinned ears at some point).  I got teased (I was short, and uncoordinated, somehow I always looked disheveled, my backpack was bigger than I was, and I spent most of my time doodling horses in my spiral notebooks), and in turn there were girls that I picked on.  I look back on it and can't believe how cruel I was to some of the other girls in school.  I don't remember the things I said, but I remember the immediate feeling of regret when the mean words left my mouth and I saw the hurt on their faces.  Of course, that feeling of regret was swiftly quashed when that nastiness got a laugh out of the crowd. 

Thankfully, we grew up and grew out of it, and hopefully we all stopped being mean to people for no reason at all.  Thankfully, no one was so mean to any of us that we felt like we couldn't keep going, and we got a chance to grow up and grow out of it.  My hope is all of these tragic stories will teach us something.  Maybe we can all learn to be a little kinder to each other, and maybe we can learn to ignore cruelty when we see it, and not reward it with a laugh.


  1. That young man's death is an absolute tragedy and the thoughtless stupid act that young man and woman did will live with them forever. So sad. I hope that something positive comes out of this. Perhaps people will think before they do something that will effect someone's well-being. Think, think, think before you do something you may regret.

  2. I found your blog through another and really enjoy it. Thanks for a beautiful and honest post. I was low on the totem pole in school, but not so low as so have none below me. I wish I could go back and apologize to them. Fortunately, I've come to value kindness as the greatest of all human qualities and am so grateful for that.

    I do think that it's possible for good to come from anything, no matter how senseless or cruel. But is is entirely up to us left on this earth to make that happen.

  3. JackieB, thanks for stopping by! I feel the same way, I wish I could go back and apologize, but since we can't go back, instead we can be kind and encourage others to do the same.

  4. I had to laugh at the doodling in your notebook. When I was at private Catholic H.S (which I hated) I was made fun of by the TEACHER, for doodling while I was actually listening to her, in front of the class. I thought to myself "Why does she get to bully me?" So I told her, I was able to do two things at once, like draw and listen...she should work on being more stimulating.
    I was blessed with a MOUTH. Needless to say, I got detention for a week. :)
    Anyway-no sort of Bullying should be tolerated-I agree.


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