Thursday, July 1, 2010

A little sympathy from my horse friends please....

By way of background, I frequently go straight to the barn from work, and consequently usually greet my horse before I change into my breeches (yes of course I know that's unwise, but he's so darn cute I can't just walk right past him without a kiss, can I?). 

So today, I did something that every horse person who attempts to lead a normal, non-horsey life from 9 to 5 has done at least once in their lives.  I am on my way to work, and looked down to see a HUGE GREEN ALFALFA SLIME STAIN on the front of my pale blue sweater.  Oh my.  Perhaps dirty clothes belong in the hamper, not on the back of a chair, hmm?  (As a side note: How is it that my tack trunk is always organized, my trailer is spotless, and my tack is never dirty, yet my apartment usually looks like someone picked it up and shook it?)

I now have to go through the work day looking like I've been finger painting.  If I were at a horse show right now, no one would bat an eye at me walking toward them with a big green stain on my stomach. The majority of the population at a horse show has a green/brown/black smudge somewhere on their person. Sadly, however, this phenomenon is grossly out of place in the work place. 

These things only happen to us, are impossible to explain to a non-horsey person ("How could you possibly put something on that your horse had touched?"  "Um, because I look like this all the time."), and are inherently embarrassing when there is no one with a horse around to understand.  So, I've turned to you, my online barn buddies, for support.  Sadly, I feel that if I just told them it was baby puke, it would be far more socially acceptable.  Perhaps they'd believe I've started a bed & breakfast for toddlers?  ("Yes, Sir, your crib is the second door on the left, and we'll be serving mashed peas for breakfast at 8.  Enjoy your stay.")

If you need me, I'll be behind my desk today, hiding from the other lawyers.


  1. Hah! Happens to me all the time! As a biologist I think unidentified stainage is a bit more common place but explaining where that stain actually came from would still get me a lot of blank stares...
    I often run out to dinner right after the barn and don't bother changing. Sometimes I don't even notice all the dirt and slime until I am about to enter the restaurant. Sigh. :)

  2. You know, puke on a shirt has no place in a business environment, either, yet we frequently see it. I believe it is a prop for the new parent to start talking about the baby. :-) Use your green slime the same way! When you have slime on your clothing, it is an excellent opportunity to educate those around you about your baby, Tucker. I find that non-horsey people are actually in awe when you make them realize how big a horse is and that you actually ride an animal that size. You could tell them that your 1,200 lb animal was giving you a kiss, or...."green slime is considered a badge of honour in horsey circles, so I am showing it off". Stand tall! Green slime is good. :-)

  3. LOL! I don't work in an office anymore, but I know exactly what you mean! The other problem I have is that all my clothes have permanent stains from horse-related causes - I keep having to buy new shirts.

  4. need a better story! When Gen had that bump I would stop by on my way to work every morning, so of course I got "kissed" as well. You need to tell them that you saved a horses life at the barn you live at this morning. When they ask for details you just have to say that it is too traumatic to talk about yet. :P And I think your apartment is allowed to be a little...unorganized...because you are NEVER in it! Between work and the barn it is lucky you have time to sleep or go home at all!

  5. I'm with On The Bit.
    Go for the Big Story.

    An alternate:
    "Where have YOU been? Free form color blocking is the latest off the Paris runways."

    I prefer Stacey's. ;)
    And you GO girl, stand horse color proud! (At least until you can get home and talk to us.) I now try to carry a change of clothing in my car. It's made for some "interesting" outfits not suitable for the occasion.

  6. My favorite is shedding season when I have to have everyone who gets in my car sign a waiver beforehand, as they will be covered in hair by the time they get out. People are so grossed out. If they only knew about sheath cleaning... :)

  7. Hilarious....because the other day, after riding in my yoga pants (I'm turning into back yard ghetto rider, yes) I had a nice 'ring' on my rear end and I ran into a store to buy a quick Gatorade and the person behind me at the check out, tapped me and commented that I must have sat in something. I just laughed and it's from riding my horse...with a big smile on my face! :)

  8. Haha, I understand. I rarely ever give rides in my car. It's not that I don't offer, I just preface it by saying that my car smells alot like horse.

    It's funny how many people mind. I kind of like it.

  9. OMG I soooo understand! When I go to work with a 'horse kiss' on my clothing I thought it would be sort of excepted considering I work at a saddlery - the manager (who has 15 horses mind you) was absolutley horrified that I had gone out and seen my horse in work clothes - I wear jeans and a polo top to work everyday and the jeans are riding jeans!!!!! She isn't one of those horsey people who kisses and swoons all over her horses - freak!!!!!

    Wear you horse kiss proudly - show it to the world! :)

  10. I had a dream where I went to give a speech and when I looked down I was in my barn clothes.

    Yeah, we are twisted.


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